Naming Rights

Brooklyn, NY

Today, one of the girls at school wanted to name a roach after me.

We have hissing cockroaches in an aquarium in our classroom, three adults, and unknown number of babies. Today the teacher took the biggest adult roach out of the aquarium, held it up, and had it "announce" homework assignments for the day. Some of the students were repulsed, others were fascinated. The teacher let some of the students touch the roach and a few brave ones held it. The roach has a name, but I don't remember what is is.

There was a group of students near me (and the roach aquarium) who also wanted to touch a roach. I picked up one of the roaches from the aquarium and encouraged some of the kids to touch or hold it. I felt like I was back at work at the zoo, picking up roaches and talking about them. Where do you put that on your resume?

The teacher informed us that the roach I had taken out of the aquarium remains unnamed. A girl who had been holding it in her hand suggested that we name it Jenny. I said I wasn't sure how I felt about that.

"What's bad about naming a roach after you? I would be happy."

Maybe we should name the roach after her instead.